Thursday, January 24, 2008

DVD Rewind: Art School Confidential

This week, we're turning back the clock a little to look at a DVD release from days gone by. Terry Zwigoff's coming of age tale of a boy finding his voice as an artist and taking the rap for a series of murders.

Try this on for fun, take a friend who has never seen or heard anything about this film, have them watch the first thirty minutes and ask them what it is about. Chances are, he won't have a clue. In fact, at first, the real story of the movie is totally unknown.

The film opens with a young man named Jerome. Jerome is an artist, or rather, he wants to be an artist. So, he decides it would be in his best interest to go to art school. While he's there, he meets some fucking freaks. Now, if you're like me, and have spent some time in an art school, you will know how accurate this is. They're everywhere. He's decent, but, you know, nothing special, and he comes to realize that he needs an edge to out pace his peers and get the bitches. One bitch, in particular, at least.

Her name is Audrey. Played by Sophia Myles, she is totally fine AND you get to see her jubblies (which, I might add, is a big selling point for someone on the fence). Now, Jerome wants to get up in these guts, and I can't say I blame him, but it is his lust that will lead to his downfall.

In search of perfection, Jerome starts drinking, smoking and goes to meet a washed up old artist named Jimmy (played by Jim Broadbent) who suggests that our buddy Jerome should start sucking cock. This would make him more popular but would probably ruin his chances to with Audrey. Well, as it turns out, Jimmy is a serial killer who makes art pieces out of keepsakes from his victims. Jerome sees this work, steals it, and burns down Jimmy's apartment with him still inside. Now all the evidence for the crimes is with Jerome, the real killer is dead, and Jerome's art school rival (oh yeah I forgot about that prick) turns out to be an undercover cop.

So, Jerome goes to jail but it turns out to be the break he needs, he becomes bigger than ever as a world wide famous artist, picking up chicks from all over.

Now, you would think, wow, this is dumb and convoluted. Well, yeah but so is art school, so it's totally realistic. Jerome's descent into madness is extremely well paced. Part of you, the viewer, not entirely knowing what is going on is the subtleties of Jerome's madness.

It was totally all over a chick. Much like the Trojan war. Audrey here is our Helen of Troy, and a fine one she was. That vageen better have been the bomb for all Jerome had to go through though. If it were me, sex with Audrey would have had to have been the cure for cancer for me to have enough motivation to go through all of that crazy shit. Well, that might be a bit hyperbolic. Especially considering how just smoking hot she is, but I digress.

If you like action, excitement, and normal people, this movie probably isn't for you. Go rent Die Hard or Rudy or something. If you like freakish sociopaths with a twist, see Art School Confidential. You'll be glad you did.

Maestro Rating:

Friday, January 18, 2008

01/18/08 Juno


The very first movie I have taken to review for my new movie blog is Juno. Jason Reitman's coming of age tale of a pregnant sixteen year old girl and her bravado in the face of trying times.

Ok, so, first thing's first, the personality of the main character is outstanding. Juno MacGuff is not your average sixteen year old that gets pregnant after a raucous two, maybe three, minutes of awkward teenage intercourse. It is attitude that makes this character very relatable and also very distant at the same time. It is difficult to be able to suspend disbelief when the main character is an obvious sociopath with manic depressive tendencies who takes a journey along a road that has become very common in modern society.

Understandably, the main character has to be interesting, and Ellen Page's character was very interesting and a purveyor of high quality entertainment. I just could not relate her to any one of my characteristics or anyone I know. Perhaps I don't know enough people. Perhaps that is why I am writing movie reviews on the internet. I don't know.

That being said, and all the negative aside, the most amicable quality about the main character is her lovability. Over the course of the movie, I fell in love with Juno MacGuff. What made her so terrible as someone to relate to is also what makes her so lovable. She is unlike anyone you have ever met. Unafraid to say what is on her mind and make things known to others in her own way. Unique is the only way to define her and as sad as it may sound, by the end of the film, I envied Paulie Bleeker.

The film also just goes to show you that what you think are good qualities in people may not be the the best for everything. I'm not going to spoil this part of the story as you will have to watch it for yourself, but when you do, you will remember what I said and all of a sudden it will make sense and you will call me on the phone, or you will want to but you don't have my number and say "dude, I totally get what you meant, that was pretty neat."

The storyline doesn't really have a main plot, more like an amalgamation of subplots. A lot like life. So it goes down like this, I recommend this movie. Watch it. If you are a dude, take a girl with you to watch it. It will be sweet. Do not go with your friends as they will all talk behind your back. See it.

Juno gets 1/2 MAESTROS